Ytd

well back to my blog again. Ytd we break le, i Dunno what i did it right or wrong. maybe all the while i am wrong. to keep forcing her. well i am the kind who often make mistake and learn. but to relationship i make mistake and regret instead of learn i dun seem to learn anything but seem to learn how to hurt myself. ytd after break i go find my friend. well my jie was talking to me while i thinking of sucide. she said i got spilt personaily lols. when i thinking of commit sucide i was really down and sad, after the break i was like high and happy like that. But i didn't i act infront of my Jie, my best friend alex, my best friend lychee, my best friend jian min, my best friend xi wen and my brother puxiu( i am sorry). my heart was broken but i dun wan them to worried for me. My two real brothers dunno anything about it, all i give them is a cold feeling. i go our with lychee play arcane i dun seem to enjoy inside. well nvm. when i reach home i go bath. i check my phone got miss call from my jie then i sms her she said ask me call my mei. well they pei me lor well that period of time i quite sad le cause i act happy but i am sad that kind of feeling i can't take it le so i go sad lor. outside de me it like i enjoying my life but inside de me is really very sad. i am sorry to act but i really dun want anyone to worried for me le. after that i ask puxiu call in to my mei hp. well it like lols i chat with puxiu, my jie and mei . i chat with my jie and mei, pu xiu listen i chat with puxiu, my jie and mei listen lols. well after that my jie put down le then my mei handphone sot sot then put down le. i go call puxiu lor. chat until 3 bah. well thank you puxiu. sorry that i keep talk about her but can't be helped. after that i go sleep cause it really tired.

TO her de

ytd i really regret what i do. because of my impatience haix i kept thinking about her ytd. well if were to travel back i won;t repeat again. i also hope we could like patch but i can't seem to find my confidence i dunno why. If i ask u ( jiaxin) will we be able to patch. A broken glass can be amend it just dun look as good as a normal 1. but it still prefect as a normal 1. we Break le. Patch is the amend. if we think about past it feel hurting but if we were to be go on and dun think about our past we can also be what we were. i know ytd u said u won't take back your words.( maybe that the reason bah i dun seem to find my confidence) could we give each others a chance ? to continue this or not. i am still holding on and i still listen to our blog de song. it bring me back ( i will try to update what we had at our blog) maybe i really think too much le. Lastly others might think i silly and stupid but to me they just dun understand how much i love u i dunno how to said it out or dunno how to talk back to them. I just dun have the confidence but i still tell u i Really want to patch back. if u think u really tired i guess dun bah. maybe i will be waiting bah. i may not treat u like my friend now cause i still treating u as my dear. Dear i am really sorry.

Today

Okay now about today de. today quite sleepy but i just can't get the sleep. i sleep around 4 to 5 hours. i guess i getting sick soon head very pain. well when i wake up i also think of her. i felt that everything in my world now i dun care le, expect her. i felt Lost cause i dun think i have any positive thinking anymore le . i guess all my positive cell die le bah. i felt empty, i have friends ya i know. i felt empty it cause i lack of her. i tot old tihow were to be dead but somehow it still within me. i dun understand myself but how others understand me i wonder why 0.o today my brother got his paid. i remenber him saying that he treat me go eat sushi with my gf but now i will be going alone but i wanted to ask her go i dunno she will come or not not as my gf as my ex bah( if u reading do u want to come? give me a reply). my bro dun mind treating u it like promise to me le so up to u to come lor. Haix tired of living but i just can't die. treasure yourself before u treasure others. thanks for this sentence to make me awake ytd. it like a tourture to me now. i am now suffering under burning nor cold. i guess i really did lost myself. can't seem to find back the ITE de me le with smile. laughter and the care and love i give to my gans i dun seem to do that anymore le. i guess because of me i did make them worried for me. haix is holiday started? i dun feel like i having a holiday. more like a torture holiday for me. wonder what will i be doing from now to 7/6/08 Well took half and hour to write all this. listening to our blog de song.