Recently lots of thing happen, actually i really dunno how i should react to all this stuff. especially my brother case. lots of impact to my family which make me think hey!! i should grow up. instead of making them worried i should just take care of myself. study hard and etc. And whenever i think about my brother case, i will think life is so fragile. anything can happen in an instant. especially the head. my teacher once told me this i may be independent on lots of stuff but what i lack of is a partner then i can be with and stuff. although i know friend will be by my side. i also dunno how i should say, finding that it just so weird for teacher to encourage student to get into relationship. maybe my teacher is right. but i think i miss the chance to get involve in it. i respect her decision even though i know most of the problem is her, i also dunno why i talk about it. but when i was down this few days i felt i'm actually quite alone and lonely without my friend. they cant always be with me when i need them. Just some thing that they cant do about it ... when i think about all this i start to think about her. i guess i stop writing here. need wake up early tml